Sep 11 2010
Archive for the 'Video' Category
Mar 21 2008
Okay, this has been bugging me for aeons, and if someone has the time and patience to search for more archived videos of old Gillette shaving advertisements, I’m sure you’ll be able to retire rich off the money you’ll raise from this sure-fire class action lawsuit. For now, I’m avoiding the whole thing, because to research this post I had to search for terms like “shaving” and “video,” and if you’ve ever done something like that you know you’ll get results that would make you want to stick pins into your brain in the hope of destroying the synapses holding those visual memories.
Mar 20 2008
Years ago, I received some deep wisdom from an extraordinary, modern-day Vietnamese philosopher. Oddly enough, this philosopher appeared on late-night television, surrounded by bikini-clad women, and was aggressively hawking his real estate seminars.
Nevertheless, I learned several important lessons from him, the most prominent among them (for me, at least) being the following (reproduced from memory):
“So I come to the United States, I tell people I want to be rich. They look at me and say ‘You crazy! You poor guy, you poor immigrant, you barely speak English, lots of other people smarter than you, they not rich, how you think you going to get rich? You crazy!'”
“You know what I say to these people? I say ‘You are a loser! Get out of my way! I make it somehow!‘”
Feb 16 2008
Just checking to see whether the YouTube video embed function I’ve installed is working properly; I might delete this test post if it is or if it isn’t. Do not click on this link unless 1) you know some “l33t speak” (including at the least “ROFLMAO”); 2) you are a fan of World of WarCraft; and 3) you are willing to lose several IQ points (because this vid is just so stupid it’s hilarious, and it will definitely harm your brain).
I figure if enough people watch this video, then my Rapid International Takeover will be that much easier to execute, since there will be far fewer intelligent people left to deal with; in other words, I’m synergistically adding value.
Look, I’ve been thinking about this, and I’m starting to conclude that it was a serious mistake to post this video link. If you click on it, you’ll think less of me. So don’t click on it.
You still want to click on it, don’t you?
Seriously, don’t. You’ll sit there wondering why the hell you’re watching it, wait for it to get better, and before you know it the whole thing will be done and you’ll be angry about engaging in a colossal waste of time and wondering if there’s someone you can sue to get that 5 minutes of your life back. Since there isn’t, you’ll just get angry at me, flame me and vow never to view this blog again (even though deep inside you know you’ll come back). But all that resentment will just make it harder to recruit you into my Secret Cabal.
So don’t click on it. Please.
You’re going to click on it anyway, aren’t you?
So here it is:
Props to OxHorn.