Apr 01 2008
Well, thank heavens for the crack training we’ve given to some Transportation Security Agency employees. As reported by local6.com, the agents were able to infer that someone might be a threat at the Orlando airport, working only from incredibly subtle cues that passengers characterized as the guy “acting crazy.”
Mar 14 2008
As if more proof were needed of the infallibility of The Mind Scalpel, my previously-articulated thesis that men have an innate instinct to weaponize anything has received even further support by this description of how water-cooler jugs are being used as cannon projectiles.
Sometimes the lonely heart of a Future Global Despot is soothed by the awareness that kindred spirits really are out there somewhere.
Off to figure out how to weaponize a cheesecake….
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Feb 27 2008
Apparently the threat of terrorism is like cumin, or chili powder: sprinkle it on an epic screw-up and it makes everything taste a lot better.
Witness what happened recently in Florida, which was plunged briefly back into the Stone Age by rolling power outages. In practically every article about that event, there was a statement that the blackouts did not appear to be caused by terrorism.
Wow! That makes me feel so much better! It’s very comforting to know that, through no intentional act, an entire slice of United States civilization was taken off-line, just by completely random events. We can all rest much easier now.
One gets the feeling that we’ll start seeing news squibs like the following:
Jan 14 2008
Okay, this should be causing a leettle more controversy than it’s stirred up - according to a reputable scholar of the Koran (who has to publish his scholarship anonymously because he’s reluctant to be stabbed, shot, or blown to bits), it’s possible that the Koran promises martyrs not 72 virgins, but rather 72 grapes - white raisins, to be precise.
This would, I expect, be somewhat of a letdown. Consider:
*KABOOM* “Hello? I am here!”
“Gee, welcome. Here’s your fresh fruit plate.”
“Um, thanks. Say, where are my girls?”