Archive for the 'Military' Category

Nov 19 2008

News Flash: Al Qaeda Really Mean!

Now they’ve done it!

In a new video, purportedly of Ayman al-Zawahiri, Al Qaeda used racially charged language to attack President-elect Obama — they called him a “house slave” (or a “house Negro“, depending on your translation).

Plus, they called him a bad Muslim.

This is going to have a seismic effect among the American Left.  It’s one thing to murder thousands of innocent Americans in their offices, or blow up American troops, or terrorize Iraqi civilians, or release videos of savage beheadings of relief workers and truck drivers, or urge Muslims worldwide to attack the United States and its interests.

But to use openly racist language?  Against the Democratic President-elect?

Now that’s just going too far!!!

It’s as if no one really got that these guys were bad news until they started couching their attacks in the syntax that domestic pressure groups want to be attacked in (i.e. “all our critics are racists!”).  Then, suddenly it’s “now, just a darn minute there, Mohammed – you’re okay when you’re claiming to be oppressed by the Great Satan, but you just watch it with the forbidden words!”

I hereby predict that within hours there will be more visibility given to, and discussion of, this particular Al Qaeda video in the American media than any other one that’s been released in years.  I expect a major part of this will stem from disappointment that the election of Obama did not suddenly make the world love us.

You’d think they’d find a silver lining in this, though — even the United States’ worst enemy admits he’s not a Muslim.

Well, perhaps Al Qaeda left this one a bit ambiguous — they’ve left room for the possibility that Obama used to be a Muslim but has now left the faith.  This creates a bit of an issue, because the four major Sunni and the one major Shia Madh’hab agree that a sane adult male apostate must be executed.

Or, they’ll argue that this is a sign of Al Qaeda’s desperation — since the rest of the world must now love us, given the election results, Al Qaeda’s only doing this to “stay relevant.”

Either way, the American media’s now going to give Al Qaeda a damn good verbal thrashing.

That’ll show them!  They’ll slink away in fear of our righteous disapproval!

Personally, I think a few more Hellfire missiles would help.

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Aug 05 2008

When All You’ve Got Is 7,000 Howitzers, Everything Starts Looking Like Fluffy Clouds That Must Be Killed

So were our good friends the Chinese Communists satisfied with stealing our gambling profits? Can they rest, now that they’ve attempted to co-opt the world’s venality?

Of course not! Instead, they’ve moved on to actions based on their idiosyncratic mistranslation of a popular Western song, as they set to work in their Army-ant-like way humming “Who’ll Kill The Rain?”

According to this article from USA Today, the Chinese are embarked on an ambitious weather-control experiment:

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Jun 24 2008

Hair-Trigger Reflexes — Not What They Used To Be

Published by under Government,Military

Is it just me, or do others notice that the Israelis lately seem to be losing a little bit of that finely-honed combat instinct they’re famous for?

Today, for example, an Israeli policeman apparently committed suicide while on detail at Ben Gurion Airport, guarding the departure ceremony for French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

Now, a guy putting a bullet in his own head and plummeting off of a roof would tend to put a damper on any party, not to mention calling into question the whole psychological-stability vetting process one always hopes governments engage in when they give people guns and put them near high-value targets.

But two other things struck me about this incident. First, as is apparent from this video, the security details never really got out of first gear when responding to the incident. None of the yelling, grabbing their principals and hustling them out of harm’s way; no, more like a molasses-slow, “hey, what the heck was that? gee, why don’t we wander over to the car, sir…” as Sarkozy and his wife slowly walk up the airplane staircase (incidentally enhancing their exposure to potential snipers) and Olmert meanders over to his car.

I swear, Olmert pauses before he gets in his car and waves and yells to Sarkozy, probably saying something like “Hey Nic, once this attack is over we’ll finish up our goodbyes, okay?”

I’d like to attribute this to Israeli nonchalance in the face of mortal danger, but then this little item from the Times Online article kind of leapt out at me:

Israel Radio said that the officer who died was about 100m away from the Sarkozy plane as it waited on the runway at Ben Gurion, Israel’s largest international airport. Two women soldiers who witnessed the incident fainted and were treated by medics.

Um, okay.  There’s a confidence booster!

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May 11 2008

The Chinese Are Gambling? We’re Doomed!

I’ve been relatively confident in the likelihood of the United States maintaining its hegemony in the world, not because of the superiority of our military capabilities, but because of the innate corrosiveness of our culture.

You see, America’s international predominance is not based on nukes or aircraft carrier battle groups, both of which are inherently cool and good for impressing the yokels, but rather on these (click here).

Okay, sorry about that, readers who are at work.

Anyway, our secret weapon — so secret that we can spray it out across the world with satellites and yet still not view it as the weaponization of space that it really is — is our mind-numbing, consumerist, degenerate worldview! And I say that as a compliment.

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Mar 25 2008

Nukes by Mail

Okay, I admit it. I am torqued. Torqued!

Do you have any idea how much it’s cost me to develop (and, via espionage, steal) my own nuclear weaponry? More than a few peanut butter sandwiches, let me tell you.

And now I see this story, about how we accidentally sent some nuclear warhead fuses to Taiwan. Accidentally! They didn’t even order them! They had asked us for helicopter batteries!

How the hell does this happen? This is worse inventory control than Wal-Mart uses for razor blades, let alone nuclear weaponry, and far worse shipping control than FedEx uses for Christmas gifts.  Is there some vast government warehouse somewhere, jam-packed with both junk and classified weapons technology cluttering the shelves, with some knuckleheaded clerk cruising around on a Segway scooter randomly filling boxes? “Dope-di-dope; well, gee, batteries…batteries…can’t find those…oh heck, let’s toss in some of these doohickeys…they look all electrical-like….” And off the Minuteman missile fuses go to Taiwan.

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Feb 21 2008

Missile Defense

Given the U.S.’s recent successful shootdown of its own satellite, some people have suggested I post a piece I circulated a little while back on a private list. So, here it is, with an addendum.

As a parent of young children, I have developed a low-cost solution to the nation’s ballistic missile defense needs: Three-year-olds!

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