Archive for May, 2011

May 02 2011

President Obama States Bin Laden Death “Not Bush’s Fault”; Takes Full Responsibility

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In a surprising policy shift for the Obama administration, the President refused to place blame on the prior president and stated that, in this isolated instance, former President Bush had “nothing to do with” a significant development in the War on Terror – the death of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

“I have reviewed the full chain of events, actions taken, and decisions made leading up to Mr. bin Laden’s sudden, violent end, and have determined that I alone bear full responsibility for this outcome. It is a rare situation in which my predecessor’s decisions had absolutely no effect on this result; the fact that this happens to be an unequivocally positive achievement has nothing to do with my willingness to step up and say “yes, everyone. It was me. All me. ‘Totally Barack,’ as it were. You’re welcome, America.”

Reached at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, former President George W. Bush, informed of bin Laden’s death, paused, smiled slightly, and said “Glad we won’t be hearing any more chittering out of that squirrel,” then returned to clearing brush.

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