Archive for June, 2009

Jun 20 2009

Quick! Somebody Give Me Swine Flu!

Published by under Uncategorized

I am desperately searching for someone who can infect me with the swine flu. That might seem counterintuitive; after all, there are all sorts of hysterical predictions about the danger of the swine flu pandemic, and people have indeed died from it.

But what the authorities aren’t really advertising is that if this swine flu pandemic follows the same pattern as the deadly 1918 one, then you might be far better off getting it in the first wave than in the second.

See, in 1918 the first wave of swine flu was pretty mild — it was, of course, the flu, and therefore not too pleasant to have (although fun to wish upon your enemies), and some people with weakened immune systems did die from it.

But the second wave was freakin’ lethal. But you know why they knew this lethal flu was the “second wave” of the earlier flu? Because the people who had gotten the flu in the first wave were immune to the lethal form of it in the second wave.

“But MS,” you might say, “what about all these guidelines the authorities are putting out about avoiding exposure to the flu, and keeping sick people quarantined for seven days from the onset and disappearance of flu symptoms? Aren’t they looking out for us?”

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Jun 18 2009

Ow! Thinking is so DIFFICULT!

Published by under Government,obama,Politics

Coming from the News of the Pathetic Department: Obama volunteers are finding that it’s much tougher to work on an actual substantive issue than it is to march in mindless lockstep on a binary choice.

According to Bloomberg:

When Patricia McArdle volunteered for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign, her duties and goals were clear. Now she’s devoting her time to his health-care plan and says she’s confused and frustrated. … “The election was easy because it was telling you to do one thing: vote for Obama,” she said. Working on health care is “kind of frustrating.”…
The confusion was evident on June 6, at the first health- care meeting of Organizing for America, a Washington-based group that aims to deploy volunteers to push Obama’s plan.

McArdle was among a handful of people who gathered in Arlington, Virginia, expecting to receive marching orders. The meeting was one of thousands held across the country that day by the group, which is overseen by Obama’s former campaign manager, David Plouffe.

Policy Questions

By the end of the gathering, McArdle was one of several participants who said they were unclear about issues ranging from policy to strategy and the rules of organizing. Some proposed lobbying Congress for a single-payer provision Obama opposes. She said she was concerned over whether it’s legal to leaflet cars at a mall.

“I don’t want to get arrested,” McArdle told those assembled. She said the lack of direction was a contrast with the specific orders volunteers received during the campaign.

They crave “marching orders”! I’m so disappointed that I’ve been wasting time developing my mass-mind-control devices — I realize now there are millions of would-be minions out there already, desperate for someone to tell them what to do!

As long as it’s not too complicated….

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