Mind Scalpel

Okay, this has been bugging me since I read it.

In the January 14 issue of The Weekly Standard (right-wing alert!), in their review of a book by Sally Bedell Smith, there’s a tidbit about Al Gore’s approach to his relationship with Bill Clinton:

“Looking ahead to his own run eight years later, Gore was determined to establish himself as a full partner to Clinton, negotiating a written contract before taking office that gave him a weekly lunch with the president, on which he insisted, plus authority on a wide range of issues–national security and foreign policy, as well as communications and the environment–in which he had shown expertise.” (emphasis added)

He negotiated a written lunch contract? Wow. That’s either brilliant or completely insane. You’d think if he were the amazing raconteur in person that his partisans claim he is, he wouldn’t need to legally bind someone to share a meal with him.

And the note that he insisted on lunch — that brings to mind the creepy moment in the Bush/Gore debates when Bush was talking and suddenly Gore slooooowly started approaching Bush…closer and closer…as if he were a five-year-old attempting to sneak up on an adult. Exactly the kind of image one gets of Gore sidling closer to a hard-at-work Bill Clinton as noontime approaches on Take Your Geeky Vice President To Lunch day (”Oh, Biiillll….time for luuuunch…”).

Of course, this all begs the question of how, exactly, he’d enforce this contract. Would he really bring a lawsuit? Insist on mediation? Binding arbitration? And what would constitute a material breach of Clinton’s obligations? “You only had tea!” “On numerous occasions, you insisted on brunch!” “Salad isn’t lunch! You need to have some protein!”

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